Scholarships
by Lilith the Queen
Summary: A juvenile delinquent recieves a scholarship to Hogwarts.
1. Scholarships Part One

I stomped into the house, slamming the door behind me. Today had not been a good day. I had gotten a perfect zero on my math test, there had been mystery meat for school lunch and the vending machines had broken down, and I had been sent to the principal's office three times. Once for breaking the vending machine, once for kicking in my locker, and once for beating up some jerk that tried to hit on me. 

"Rachel," I heard my aunt Tammy call from the living room, "I thought school didn't get out till three." 

I looked at the clock. It was two-thirty. "They had a freak accident at the science lab," I lied. I had actually been sent home early after my third stint in the office. 

Tammy Phoebus wheeled into the kitchen. She doesn't look anything like me, even though she's my aunt. Tammy has red hair, freckles, and blue eyes. She has a snub nose and glasses, and she's in a wheelchair. 

I, on the other hand, am pretty damn hot, if I say so myself. I have long, silky black hair, big purple eyes, perfect, pale skin, a straight nose, full lips, and I'm all curves. 

Tammy gave me a long, slow look. "You got into trouble again," didn't you?" she said. 

I sighed. "No, Tammy. I didn't. Look, I'm going out, okay?" I grabbed my leather jacket off of the chair and started to open the door. Then I froze. 

"Will you let me go already?" I yelled. 

"Tell me what happened," Tammy said. "I want the truth." I managed to twist my head around a little. Tammy was pointing her wand at me. 

"Right. Some jerk tried to feel me up in bio, and I beat him up." 

Tammy lowered her wand. "Fine. Go. And tell Andrew to get home as soon as possible." 

That's the other weird thing about Tammy. She's a witch. And I don't mean the kind of witch that you mean when you say, "She's such a witch." Or the kind of witch that goes around talking about nature and does the maiden-mother-crone thing, either. Tammy's a real, magic witch, the kind that can slip a potion into your drink to make you break out in zits, or make you incredibly beautiful with a wave of her hand, or turn you into a frog. 

Tammy can't stand Andrew because he's a Muggle. It's really not fair, since she teaches me magic and she doesn't let Andrew learn. 

Oh yeah, Andrew's my younger brother. He doesn't look like me. He has dyed blonde hair, pink skin, blue eyes, a snub nose, and a very wiry build. He tends to be a bit fruity. 

My mom and dad weren't killed in a mysterious car crash, or by some evil dude, or anything. My Muggle dad ran out on us a while ago with his secretary, whom Mom says was a Dark Arts witch. Mom was a witch too, but she gave it up after she got married because it was a big strain on her. She's living with her new girlfriend, who's a maiden-mother-crone type of witch. 

So poor Aunt Tammy, a born-and-bred witch, got stuck with us. She's in a wheelchair because of this guy she calls Voldemort. She says he's the ultimate Dark Wizard. She broke her spine while battling him in her library. He only didn't kill her because they were once romantically attached, but she dumped him when he starting going evil. She's paranoid of him now. She hardly ever does any magic now, for fear it'll attract him. 

I headed out the door to the Broken Drum (motto: You Can't Beat It), which is a cool place to go for Muggle kids who think they're warlocks. You know the type—Gothic kids, nerds and stuff. It's dark, dingy, and has video games in the corner that don't work, but they sell alcohol to anyone with money, which is why it's a popular hangout. The owner, Madame Thibodeaux, has her zombie Obsidian working as bartender. 

Andrew was probably there, chatting up some headbanger chick. I quickened my pace. 

"Hey Rachel! What up?" yelled Jenny Greenteeth. Jenny's a fey who lives across the street from me. She's a cool girl; most feys are. 

Feys are sort of a mongrel species. They used to be made up of unlikely pairings, like elves and giants, or goblins and dwarves. Nowadays, they're a species all their own. They're like the dregs of society; can't hold down jobs, live in trailer parks on the outside of town, stuff like that. But they're fun. Every town has a few of them. Jenny's family won a football pool a few years ago, so her two older sisters, two younger sisters, three older brothers, one younger brother, one baby brother, dad, mom, and aunt moved into this enormous mansion right across the street. Jenny's probably the smartest person in her family. 

I swung in with Jenny. "What's the word, doll?" 

Jenny grinned. She's not that bad-looking for a fey, actually. She has lanky, oily brown hair, ears that are too big, acne, and sort of hollow eyes. She also has green teeth and a green tongue, which is her family's trademark. It's actually a very attractive combination, in fey terms. And three guys at school have raging crushes on her. 

"Hogwarts be recruiting," Jenny said. "They picking up homeschoolers now." 

"I know," I said. "You going?" 

Jenny snorted. "You crazy, chick? Feys don't get into Hogwarts." 

"Why not?" I asked. "You have magic in your blood. I've seen you turn people into frogs three separate times." 

"They teach about us feys like we a different species," Jenny complained. "They got a section in the Defense Against the Dark Arts class just for us. They think we some kind of stupid animals or something, you know?" 

"Geez, that sucks," I said. 

Jenny nodded. "They snobby idiots. Even that one, Dumb Ass or something, the one that lets Muggles into the school, even he don't let us in. Now, that fair?" 

"Not at all," I agreed. "Hey, you got any money?" 

Jenny shook her head. "Nah. Madame Thibodeaux got a tab, now. She say we all pay at the end of the year." 

I shrugged. "Great. I guess Tammy'll just have to pay it, cause I got no money either." 

I pushed open the door to the Broken Drum. "Hey Andrew, you in here?" 

Andrew threw a paper napkin at me. "Rachel. Jenny." 

I nodded. "Ah, Gwen." 

Gwen Lobo is this bitchy little werewolf chick that hangs around Andrew. She lives near one of the fey settlements. Gwen's family is really poor, but she always wears designer clothes and stuff. She shoplifts like crazy, and she somehow never gets caught. 

Gwen is considered to be the hottest girl in school. She's practically anorexic, has absolutely chiseled cheekbones, pretty blue eyes, wispy strawberry blonde hair, and a huge *ahem*. 

Andrew was leaning on the table, practically drooping into his mug of ale. Gwen was giggling at him. 

I coughed loudly and slid in between the two junior lovebirds. "So, Andrew. You heard that Hogwarts is taking homeschoolers now?" 

Andrew sighed. "No, I didn't. Do tell." 

"All right." I moved my chair a little closer to him, ignoring the sarcasm. "See, you know how Tammy teaches me magic at home and not you? Well, apparently that's—" 

"Ohmigod, I heard about that!" Gwen interrupted. "See, I was at the Blue Moon Shop, that's the one with all the security talismans, you know? And I was getting these really cool earrings, the mother-of-pearl ones shaped like crescent moons. See?" She swiveled her head to display her latest catch. 

I grudgingly admired them. "Nice." 

"So how much didn't you pay for them?" asked Jenny. 

Gwen shot her a nasty look. "They cost me twenty-nine dollars each, I will have you know. Anyway, so I was getting these, and the security guard comes over to me. He's like, really hot and everything." 

Andrew looked downcast. "You like him?" 

Gwen gave a little laugh. It sounded like little silver bells. "Don't be silly! He's way too old for me. Anyway, so he comes over to me. He's like really hot, and I can tell he's a werewolf. He has sandy blonde hair, and these amazing green eyes, and he has really fine hair on his hands, and ohmigod he's so hot." 

Jenny tapped her fingers impatiently on the side of the table. "Already been said, Gwen. Get on with it already." 

"All right," Gwen said. "So he says, 'Hey, my name's Scott.' And I say, 'Hey, what a coincidence.' And he says, 'Your name's Scott, too?' And I say, 'No, cause it's not. My name's Gwen.'" She laughed at her own wit. 

Jenny looked sour. "Ha." 

"So we start talking, and he mentions that Hogwarts is taking new students now," Gwen continued. "Isn't it, like, so cool?" 

I gave her a look. "Please. That's old news." 

Gwen threw back her head and laughed. "Well, excuse me for not being informed about everything!" 

Jenny grabbed a fried rat from a plate Obsidian was passing around and bit the head off. "Been known for ages now. You tell me you never heard?" 

Gwen wrinkled her nose. "God, do you know how many calories are in those things?" 

Jenny grinned at her. Pieces of flesh dangled from her teeth. "Gotta keep my strength up, babe." She picked a whisker from between her teeth and proffered the other end of the rat to Gwen. "Want some?" 

Gwen drew back in revulsion. "You're gross." 

I took a fried rat. They're not that bad, actually, if they're properly prepared. Tastes sort of like frog legs. 

Gwen tossed her long hair. "God, you two are both disgusting." She smiled sweetly at Andrew. "Would you accompany me home, Andrew?" 

I shot up from my chair. "Oh, Andrew, Tammy said that she wanted you home as soon as possible." 

"But my house isn't _that_ far away," Gwen pouted. "And it's dark out." 

I looked out the grimy window. The sun was barely setting. "It's perfectly light out," I said. 

"Hey, I walk you home, if you that scared," Jenny offered. 

Gwen sighed. "Never mind. I'll go by myself." She pulled her Armani jacket off of the chair and swirled it around her shoulders, giving a wink to Andrew. "See you in school, Andy." 

Jenny was staying to meet a guy, so we went home right away. Andrew was really pissed of. He didn't say anything until we were in the driveway. 

"God, why'd you have to piss Gwen off like that?" he asked. "She was really coming on to me." 

"That's why I pissed her off," I shot back. "She's a slut, Andrew. You know it. Come on, you can do better." 

"You're such a jealous bitch," Andrew muttered. 

I stopped. "What did you call me?" I shrieked. 

Andrew quailed. "Uh…sorry." 

Tammy was waiting at the front door. "Come on in, you two." Her face was white. 

"This isn't good," muttered Andrew. 

We made our way to the kitchen table and sat down. Tammy wheeled her way to the head of the table. 

"I just got this," Tammy said, waving a sheet of paper. "An owl flew in and gave this to me." 

Andrew leaned across the table. "Cool. Let me see." 

Tammy snatched it out of his hand. "No! This is very bad news. Rachel, you read it." She gave it to me. Her hands were shaking. 

I scanned the letter. "It's a scholarship to Hogwarts. What's so bad about that? You're always telling me stories about when you were at Hogwarts." 

Tammy shook her head. "You can't go, Rachel. I'm not letting you go." 

I sat straight up. "What?" 

Tammy looked me in the eye. "It's too dangerous. You can't go to Hogwarts." 

I gawked at Tammy. "Look, why can't I go to Hogwarts? What's wrong with it?" 

"Harry Potter is there," Tammy said. 

Andrew snorted. "That's the big deal? He isn't evil or anything. And he's not about to kill Rachel." 

Tammy sighed. "You don't get it, do you? Harry Potter is the biggest enemy of…_him_. And _he_ just came back. If Harry Potter is somewhere, then _he_ will try to kill him. And if you're near Harry Potter, you'll get killed as well. And then _he'll_ come after me." There were tears in her eyes. "It's for your own safety, Rachel." 

I tossed the paper aside. "Screw that! I can handle _him_…whoever _he_ is." 

"Who is this _he_ you keep referring to, anyway?" asked Andrew. 

Tammy pounded her fist on the table. "For God's sake! It's _Voldemort_, you idiots! I thought I told you about him! I thought I told you about how evil he was. Don't you know anything?" 

Andrew sighed. "Oh. Him. The evil guy." 

Tammy hung her head in defeat. "Yes. The evil guy. The Dark Lord." 

"I'm going anyways," I announced. "This dude can't hurt me. I bet I can take him on." 

Tammy shot up. There was fire in her eyes. "You aren't going! You can't go! I won't let you!" 

I leaned in close to her. "You know what? You can't make me stay here. In case you haven't noticed, I've gotten much older now. I stay out later. I have my own money. I wear short skirts. I don't care whether or not you think I should go to Hogwarts. I'm getting out of this place." 

Tammy was white and trembling. "Then go," she hissed. "Get out of here. Go to Hogwarts. Get killed, I don't care." 

Andrew stared at me. "You know, Rachel, you don't have to go…" 

I stood. "Yes," I said, "I do."


	2. Scholarships Part Two

I decided to spend the night at Jenny's. Her family would be happy to see me. 

I let myself in the front door, which was unlocked. "Jenny?" I yelled. 

Sue, who is Jenny's little sister, appeared, chasing Brian, Jenny's little brother. "I'm telling!" she screamed. Her hair was tousled and she had a lollipop sticking out of her mouth. Brian had a pink plastic trinket in his hand. 

Peggy, Jenny's older sister, slouched into the foyer with a cell phone. "Will you brats shut up?" she yelled, covering the speaker with her hand. "Yeah, sorry, the brats are making noise again…" 

Jessie, the littlest girl, waddled into the hall. She grabbed the trinket from Brian as he ran around the staircase a second time, and put it in her mouth. Brian immediately started wrestling with her, trying to get it back. 

Meanwhile, Sue was pulling Brian's hair. Steve, Jenny's older brother, threw his helmet at them. Sue caught it and clanged it over Brian's head. 

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP DOWN THERE?" Nat, Jenny's nerdy older brother raged from upstairs in his room. 

I grinned. This was a pretty quiet day, actually. 

Jenny came running down the stairs. "Rachel! What you doing here? Didn't Tammy need you home?" 

I shrugged. "She kicked me out." 

Jenny gasped. "Mother of Gods. Why?" 

"Cause I'm going to Hogwarts." I held the letter up proudly. 

Jenny clapped her hands and giggled. "Ooh, just great!" She hugged me. 

I giggled. "Oh yeah. I'm going to Hogwarts!" 

"We gotta celebrate," Jenny insisted. "Come on. There be some ice cream in the freezer, if someone ain't eaten it all yet." 

Jenny's Aunt Sue was sitting at the kitchen table, a gallon of Genocide By Chocolate ice cream in one hand, and a huge spoon in the other. She was licking the spoon vacantly, staring off into space. 

Jenny sighed. "Aw, I was saving that!" 

Sue started. "Oh, Jenny. Didn't see you there." She waved the spoon. "Sorry 'bout that. There still be some left, though." 

Jenny opened a drawer, took out two spoons, and tossed me one. "Rachel here got into Hogwarts." 

Sue smiled. "Fantastic. Dig in, babes. We got enough for three." 

We ate ice cream until the sun set, talking about Hogwarts and guys. Then Ric and Ella came home. 

Ric and Ella are Jenny's two oldest siblings. Ric's this really cool gay guy. He works in a record store downtown. Ella's a fey rights activist. Right now, her main thing is getting feys into Hogwarts. 

Ella slammed the door. "Jenny! I want to talk to you." 

Jenny sighed. "Great." She got up from the table. 

In the foyer, I could hear Ric arguing with Ella. "Look, it ain't her fault she be going to Hogwarts. Just leave the poor girl alone." 

"Yeah, well it ain't our fault we be banned from all the good schools, either," Ella yelled back. "You know it be the only thing to do, Ric." 

Ric sighed. "Fine. Fine. But if Rachel gets in trouble for this, it ain't on my head." 

Jenny sat down. 

Ella came into the kitchen. She's a tall girl, with short dandelion-colored hair sticking out from her head. She always looks like she's eaten something gross and is trying not to show it. 

"Rachel, what's this I be hearing about you going to Hogwarts?" she asked me. 

I shrugged. "I don't know. What did you hear?" 

Ella frowned. "You be going to Hogwarts. That right?" 

I nodded. "I only just got the letter an hour ago." 

"Yeah, yeah. Look, I want you to bring Jenny with you," Ella told me. 

Jenny started. "What? I can't be going to Hogwarts. They kick me out in a second." 

Ella shrugged. "It's a protest. Besides, it be the only chance for our little Jenny to get a good education." 

Jenny shook her head. "Come on, we got the public schools right here. They ain't that bad." 

Ella rolled her eyes. "Not that bad, she say. Look, the public schools around here got forty kids in each class and only two teachers for each grade. We got to get you some real education, or you be stuck at home taking care of the kids." 

Ric came into the kitchen. "Please, Ella. You be getting Jenny and Rachel both in trouble." 

I shook my head. "Oh, no. It wouldn't be any trouble at all. I could take Jenny." 

Sue laughed. "Right. What, she gonna hide in your luggage?" 

I shrugged. "If I have to." 

Ella grinned. "See, Ric?" 

Ric shook his head. "It ain't gonna work out." 

Jenny crossed her arms. "So I be going to Hogwarts." 

I nodded. "Yeah, if you want to." 

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Do I want to? Of course I want to, girl. I be the first fey going to Hogwarts!" She giggled. 

The next morning, I snuck over to my house and woke up Andrew. 

"ANDREW!" I yelled, throwing stones at the window. 

Andrew stuck his head out of the window. "What now?" he grumbled. 

"Andrew, I need some Floo powder," I said. 

Andrew snorted. "What the hell do you need that for?" 

"Diagon Alley," I said. "I gotta go shopping for school." 

The window slammed. 

I cupped my hands around my mouth. "Andrew, if you don't get me some Floo powder, I'm going to call up Gwen and tell her that you still wet the bed!" 

"I DON'T WET THE BED!" Andrew yelled. 

"But she doesn't know that," I said. 

Andrew opened the window again. "Isn't there any at Jenny's house?" he asked. 

"Feys don't use Floo powder," I said. 

"Tammy's going to be really pissed if I give you some," Andrew said. "You know she counts exactly the number of every freakin' magic thing we have in the house." 

I shrugged. "Do I care? Just throw down a package." 

Andrew sighed. "All right, but it's on your head if Tammy finds out it's gone." 

He disappeared again, and came back carrying a small red tin. "Catch!" 

I caught it. "Thanks!" 

Monkey, Jenny's mom, was waiting for me at her house. 

"I heard the good news!" she cried, hugging me. "You be going to Hogwarts! Ooh, this be so happy!" 

I squirmed out of her embrace. "Jenny's going with me." 

Monkey abruptly dropped her arms. "What? Jenny can't go with you. We need her at home." 

I shrugged. "Ella suggested it. And Jenny really wants to go." 

Monkey sniffed. "Fine. But aren't feys not allowed at Hogwarts?" 

"Not anymore," Ella said from the kitchen. "I just got this." She waved a letter. "Cornelius Fudge has just made an announcement. Listen." 

I listened. 

"As of this day forward," Ella read, "all feys are considered to be the equal of human beings. Human law will apply to feys, and feys are not to be discriminated against for any reason whatsoever." She folded the paper, grinning. 

Jenny screamed. "Oh my God!" 

Jenny's dad, Ratsnickle, grunted. "Right. The only that's gonna change is that a few fey kids are gonna get to go to Hogwarts, and we're gonna get paid a few cents more. Humans still look down on us." 

"That's not true," I said. "I don't look down on you, and neither does Andrew." 

Monkey waved her hand. "Ah, that be different. You kids practically honorary feys. Hell, you hang around with us enough. We talking about the other ones." 

I raised one eyebrow. "'Other ones'? What 'other ones' are we talking about here?" 

"You know," Ratsnickle said. "The other humans. The ones that live in them big houses they got from their grandparents. The ones who say they have history." 

I shrugged. "What, like that one family…uh, what're they called, the Malfoys?" 

Ella nodded. "Precisely. They be working to maintain the status quo, you know? They such snobby bastards." 

"Screw them," Jenny said. "We don't need them." 

Monkey nodded. "That's the spirit! And we gotta be shopping." 

The Greenteeths don't have a fireplace, so we had to go into the backyard. They have a fire pit there. 

Jenny and I waited while Ric, who had promised to take us, kindled the fire. Finally, it was a roaring blaze and we could go through. 

Ric tossed a pinch of powder into the fire. "Diagon Alley," he said, and stepped into it. 

Jenny went next. "Diagon Alley!" she yelled, jumping through. 

I was about to go when I heard Sue behind me. "Diagon Alley," she giggled, and stepped through my legs. 

"Oh, shit," I muttered. "Sue, don't you dare—" But she was gone. 

I took a deep breath, muttered "Diagon Alley," and went through. 


	3. Scholarships Part Three

I stepped into what looked like a pet shop on acid. There were weird things in cages. I looked down and saw a green cat rubbing against my feet. 

"What is this place?" I yelled. 

I saw Ric pushing through the animals. "Knockturn Alley," he said. "The fucking powder screwed up again." 

I kicked the cat to the side and managed to get out of the door. "Geez. Where's Jenny?" 

"Over here," yelled Jenny from the edge of a fountain. "I been waiting for you guys." 

We were in a small public square. There were streets radiating from the square, and there were several ancient fountains and statues in the middle of it. 

Jenny had been holding her sister Sue's hand while they walked along the edge of the fountain. Now she jumped down from the edge and ran over to us. Sue fell and started bawling. 

Ric sighed. "I'll take care of her." He went over to mollify Sue. 

Jenny pulled me down one of the streets. "You ever been here before?" she asked. 

"No," I said. "Tammy took us to Diagon Alley a few times, though. I tried to go down here, but she wouldn't let me." 

Jenny snorted. "Ain't nothing to be afraid of. Okay, what do we be needing?" 

I checked the list. "Well, I can get most of the books out of Tammy's library. Except for the _Liber Paginarum Fulvarum_. What is that, anyway?" 

"What class that be for?" Jenny asked. 

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," I said. 

Jenny shrugged. "We can just ask around. Let's see…we be needing wands." 

"Do they sell wands here?" I asked. 

"Yeah," Jenny said. "There be a wand shop in Diagon Alley, but they don't be using anything good. It be all unicorn hair and phoenix feathers. Here it is." She ducked into a shop that had a CLOSED sign on the door. I followed her. 

"HEY!" Jenny yelled. "IS ANYBODY THERE?" 

"It's closed," called someone. 

Jenny stormed into the back. "Look, we be needing wands here. And if it be closed, why ain't it locked?" 

A hag came in from the back, wiping her hands on a towel. "You've got me there, dearie," she said. "I was just trying to close a deal with a representative from Morder, but I'm sure he can wait. You want wands?" 

"Yeah," I said, "and we don't want to wait all day." 

The hag nodded. "All right, dears. Let's see…you two are going to Hogwarts, right? So…" She peered at me. "You look familiar, dearie. Hold on…let me switch on the light…" She fumbled for a chain hanging down from the ceiling. "There we go." 

In the light, I could see that she was actually quite young. She was wearing earrings made out of what looked like bits from a unicorn's horn, and had on bright red lipstick. 

The hag looked at me. "Ah, I know the right wand for you. Just a moment." She went into the back again. 

Jenny looked at me. "If she don't come out in two minutes, we be leaving." 

The hag came back out and pressed a wand into my hand. "Is this good, dearie?" 

I waved the wand around a bit. A shower of pink feathers shot out of the end. "Cool! What's this made out of?" 

"Rowan wood and unicorn hair," the hag said. "It's used, though. This was the wand of Tamara Fear." 

"I've never heard of her," I said. "What about Jenny?" 

"Is she a fey?" asked the hag. 

"Yes, I be a fey!" yelled Jenny. "You got a problem with that?" 

The hag shook her head solemnly. "No, dearie. It's just that fey magic is a bit different from human magic. I've got a box of fey wands…here." She gave Jenny a wand. It was made out of bits of melted metal, swirled to make a sort of spike on the end. 

Jenny waved it around. It started glowing, and something red bubbled out of it. 

Jenny looked pleased. "First try!" 

"That's made with silver and johnswort," the hag announced. "That's one of the new ones. I'm glad you like it, dearie." 

"How much do we be owing you?" asked Jenny. 

The hag frowned. "How much have you got?" 

"I've got a credit card," I announced, taking Tammy's Gold Card out of my pocket. 

Jenny gave me a look. "You took your aunt's credit card?" 

I shrugged. "It's not like she uses it." 

The hag inspected the card. "Ah, yes. I see. Well…" She snapped her fingers. The card shimmered for a moment. The hag looked very pleased. 

We stopped at a few other places to get things like cauldrons and gloves. Then Jenny dragged me into this store called Garden of Enchantments. 

"This be where my aunt gets most of her clothes," she said. 

The shop was full of robes covered with sequins and feathers. Most of them were really low-cut. I looked through the nearest rack for robes in my size. 

Jenny held up a leopardskin robe that must have been cut for a Barbie doll. "Think this would fit?" 

I shrugged. "It looks really small." 

"That be the good thing about these robes," Jenny said. "No matter which one you wear, you look really good." 

I picked up a snakeskin robe. It looked pretty cool. 

I ended up buying eight robes. One was snakeskin, two were leopardskin, three were covered with sequins, one was faux leather, and one was covered with lace. Jenny got the same things. 

Then we had to go to the pet shop on acid. 

Ric and Sue were waiting for us outside of the shop. "Are you guys ready yet?" Sue asked. 

"We still gotta get our animals," Jenny told her. "You want to help me pick, baby?" 

"Sure!" yelled Sue. She ran into the shop. 

I followed Jenny and Sue inside. The shop hadn't gotten any less chaotic. 

I picked up what looked like a huge lizard. "What the heck is this thing?" 

"That's a Komodo dragon," said a hag at the front desk. "It's a member of the crocodilian family. It has poisonous saliva." 

The lizard licked me. "It's cute," I said. 

"She's actually very well-mannered," the hag said. The dragon licked me. "She seems to like you." 

"I'll take her," I decided. "What's her name?" 

"Kora," the hag said. "Shall I put her on your credit card?" 

"Yeah," I said. 

"Sue thinks I should get this," Jenny said, showing me something that looked like a fox. 

"That's a Vulpix," the hag said. "They're very affectionate. Shall I put that one on your friend's credit card as well?" 

"Charge it," I said. 

We spent the night at a little tavern in Diagon Alley. 

It was five in the morning when Ric woke us up. Actually, Ric didn't wake us up. He woke up Sue, who jumped on Jenny's head and then kneed me in the stomach. 

Jenny punched her. "Damn, Sue, what time is it?" 

"It's five!" squealed Sue. "It's five five five! Come on, we have to go! Let's go let's go let's go!" 

I groaned. "Ric, how much sugar did you give her?" 

"Two tablespoons and a bowl of Captain Crunch," Ric said. "The train leaves in two hours. Do you guys wanna miss it?" 

Jenny pulled the covers over her head. "Wake me when the sun comes up." 

I got out my wand and tried something that I had seen someone do on TV. "Lumos." 

A flash of light illuminated the room. Jenny squinted. "God, do you have to shine that thing right in my eyes?" 

"Yes," I said. 

Jenny sighed. "Fine." 

Ric made us fried eggs, and then borrowed a car from one of his boyfriends. He played ZZ Top to wake us up. Sue called shotgun, and spent the entire ride singing, "She don't love me, she love my automobile" and other little gems of wisdom. 

By the time we got to the station, there were already tons of people there, even though the train didn't leave for an hour yet. Ric and Sue went home, and Jenny and I decided to hang around for a while in a sort of bench square. 

Jenny was in the middle of telling me a really stupid joke about a priest, an old lady, and a hippopotamus when there was a huge commotion near the ticket window. I went to go see what it was…

And a huge black owl with white markings on its wings sailed past me and right into the middle of the square. It glared at me and hooted. 

Jenny scrambled back from it. "Where the hell did that thing come from?" 

"I don't know," I said, "but I'm going to catch it. Come on, nice owl, come over to Auntie Rachel…Jenny, do you have any fried rats?" 

"This ain't be the time to get a snack, Rachel," said Jenny. 

"No," I said, "owls eat rats." 

Jenny dug in her pocket. "Yeah, I got one. Catch!" She threw it overhand. 

I caught it. "Thanks. Here, owl. Nice owl. See the nice rat? Come on, get over here." 

The owl hopped toward me. It cocked its head to one side, and then tried to bite the rat out of my hands. 

I grabbed the owl and held its wings against its body. "There we go, just sort of relax now, okay?" 

The owl was hooting loudly and struggling like crazy. It was trying to bite me, but not quite succeeding. 

A boy ran into the square. He had blonde hair in a short ponytail, steely gray eyes, and a really fine body. "Where did the stupid thing _go_?" 

I held up the owl. "This yours?" 

The boy's eyes narrowed. "That is mine, thank you," he said. "My father gave it to me. His name is Slash. He cost a lot of money." 

"That's great," Jenny said. "Now why do you be carrying around some big-ass owl in the middle of a train station?" 

"Because," the boy said, "I am going to Hogwarts. I spent four years without my own animal and I got this for my fifteenth birthday. Now would you please give it back to me?" 

I held on to the owl. "Tell me your name first." 

"What's yours?" the boy asked. 

"I'm Rachel Phoebus," I said. "This is my friend Jenny Greenteeth. We're both going to Hogwarts." 

"I'm Draco Malfoy," the boy said. "Phoebus…I think I know that name. Wait—_Greenteeth_? That's a fey name!" 

I glared at him. "So?" 

Draco paled. "Feys can't go to Hogwarts! It's against the lore." 

"Fuck the lore," Jenny said. "Do you be wanting your owl back or not?" 

Draco snatched it from me. "I'll be watching you." He walked away, looking over his shoulder at us. 

I gave him the finger. He stopped and leered at me. "Especially you, Rachel." Then he walked into the crowd. 

A girl with frizzy hair hurried up to us. "Isn't he an asshole?" 

"Yeah," I agreed, thinking about the way his eyes flashed. "Pretty cute though." 

The girl looked shocked. "Cute? Draco Malfoy? _Cute?_" 

"Yeah," I said. "Hey, what's your name?" 

"Hermione Granger," she said. She talked in an odd way, as if she were gulping in air and trying not to breathe out too much. "I'm going to Hogwarts too. I'm waiting for Ron and Harry…that's Ron Weasley and Harry Potter, they're two of my best friends…what's her name?" 

Jenny nodded. "Jenny Greenteeth. You say you be friends with Ron Weasley?" 

"Yeah," Hermione said. "Why?" 

"Oh, nothing," Jenny said. "I met him in Egypt a few years back. One of his brothers was sleeping with my sister." 

Hermione gave Jenny a blank look. "Er…Right. I've…got to go." She hurried off. 

Jenny blinked. "What?" 

I laughed. "Did you have to say that?" 

"Say what?" Jenny asked. "I mean, all I said was that one of his brothers was sleeping with my sister."


	4. Scholarships Part Four

Quick note to Lady Tamara Lynn: I know that this characterization of you is entirely not accurate. I strove mightily to create an accurate character of you, but I believe, failed miserably within the first three paragraphs. This character is based not on you but on my mom in a bad mood. Please do not take offense, and please remember that my stories tend to go where they will, and obey no mortal, whether author or LITTLE BROTHER WHO HAD BETTER GET OUT OF MY ROOM OR I WILL STRANGLE HIM. Thank you for watching. Enjoy the show. 

When we finally got to the school, I was asleep. Jenny had to shake me to wake me up. 

I trudged to the Hall with my stuff, and sat down somewhere. "Wake me when this is over," I mumbled. 

Jenny sighed. "Rachel, we got to be Sorted," she said. 

I blinked. "What the hell is being Sorted?" 

Jenny pointed to a large, black witch hat that lay on a table in the center of the Hall. "See, we got to put that on, and it tells us which house we be in." 

I shrugged. "Whatever. Wake me when it's my turn." 

Jenny considerately let me sleep for about five seconds, and then shook me awake. "It's the scholarship kids' turn now," she said, dragging me up to the hat. "Come on, let's go." 

I was the first scholarship kid to put on the hat. I sat in a chair while the hat was dumped on my head, and sat back, waiting. 

_What have we here?_ I heard a voice in my head. 

_What the fuck are you?_ I asked it. 

_I'm the Sorting Hat_, the voice explained. _What house should we put you in?_

_You're the hat, you tell me_, I said. 

The hat was silent for a moment. _Let's see. You're very rebellious, aren't you? And rather manipulating. I think you belong in _"SLYTHERIN!" 

Jenny got into Slytherin too. The other scholarship kids in Slytherin were Emily Englesoot, a half-fey with corkscrew black hair, freckles, and braces; Erika Snowfire, a short girl with carrot-red hair and a snub nose; Kirsten Locksley, who wore a huge green cloak with a hood; and Alyssa Crowley, a skater chick with dyed blue hair in pigtails and tons of makeup. 

We stood around looking stupid for a while, until it was time for the feast. I grabbed my stuff and followed everyone else into the dining hall, but this guy with a long white beard stopped me. 

"You're Rachel Fear, aren't you?" he asked me. 

I blinked. "Huh? No. Rachel Phoebus. Who're you?" 

"My name is Albus Dumbledore," he said. "I am the headmaster of this school. You are related to a witch named Tammy, are you not?" 

"Yeah, she's my aunt," I said. "She kicked me out of the house because I wanted to come to school here. Why, do you know her?" 

"And you were put in Slytherin," Dumbledore murmured to himself. "I don't think she'll be very happy about that." 

"I don't care about what that bitch thinks," I said. "She kicked _me_ out of the house. I don't think she really cares at all." 

Jenny and I got put in an old, unused dorm at the top of Slytherin house with Emily, Erika, Kirsten, and Alyssa. 

Emily immediately bounced on the top bunk. "I call this bunk!" she screeched. 

Alyssa plopped her stuff on the bunk below Emily. "Whatever," she mumbled. She dug her headphones out of her bag and started listening to a CD. 

Erika clambered up onto another top bunk and sat heavily on it. "This is great!" she yelled. 

Kirsten quietly put her stuff on the bottom bunk. "I guess I'll take this one." 

Jenny jumped onto the top bunk and grinned down at me. "I guess you got this one, Rachel." 

I sat on the bottom bunk. The springs squeaked. "Well, isn't this nice," I observed. 

"I think we should all get to know each other," Erika said. She jumped down from the top bunk and sat on the floor. "Come on, let's get started." 

We all looked at each other. "I'll start," I said eventually. "My name is Rachel Phoebus. My parents, Jake and Mara, are divorced. My dad lives in California with his girlfriend. Same with my mom. I live with my aunt Tammy, who's in a wheelchair, and my brother Andrew, who didn't come. Tammy didn't want me to come here because she's afraid of Voldemort. I have a Komodo dragon named Kora." 

"I'll go next," Jenny said. "I'm Rachel's best friend. My family won the lottery a while ago, and we live across from Rachel. I live with my mom, dad, a bunch of brothers and sisters, and my aunt. I have a crush on Rachel's little brother, and I'm a fey. I have a Vulpix." She looked at everyone nervously. 

"I'm a fey, too," offered Emily, "if that helps. My dad died a while ago, and my mom is Dame Renee of Dame Renee's Apothecary. My little sister Hannah is going to be coming here next year. Oh yeah, and I have a Quantum Weather Butterfly named Storm. Also, I'm like a total freak. I get hyper a lot." She giggled. 

"I'll go!" yelled Erika. "Okay, my parents are divorced, like Rachel's." She beamed at me. "My dad Larry is a Muggle lawyer. My mom Lisa works at the Ministry of Magic. And I have two little brothers, Ben and John. They're both freaks. Ben is a third year at Durmstrang and John is a second year there, too. I'm only going here 'cause my cousins go here, and my mom got me in the custody deal and she's living with her sister. And I have a sheepdog named Rocky. He's coming on the next train." She poked Alyssa. "Hey, it's your turn." 

Alyssa grunted and removed her headphones. "Shit. Okay, my name's Alyssa Crowley. I live with my parents. They're Squibs or whatever and they're really stupid. I only came here 'cause I can do magic with normal human stuff, like CD players." She gestured toward her CD player lying on her bed. "Like, it isn't supposed to work here, but I can make it work. I have a Cheshire cat named Schroedinger." She looked around. "Damn, where is that stupid thing? She's never around." A black shadow of a cat rubbed up against her ankles. "There you are." She picked it up and continued talking. "I have a brother who's off at college, and he's a total idiot, too. He's totally conservative and stupid. Oh yeah, and I really like Rage Against the Machine and Eminem." 

"I suppose it's my turn," Kirsten said. 

I jumped. "I didn't notice you there." 

Kirsten shrugged. "That's what usually happens." She pulled off her hood. She was actually very pretty, with brown hair of the type that's usually described as tresses, and big green eyes. She had a star-shaped scar on her left cheekbone. "My parents died when I was quite young. They were Death Eaters. They were trying to make me become a Death Eater, but I refused. That's how I got this scar and that's how they died. I live with my brother Mike and his wife Rebecca. Mike is a total asshole. He hates me. Rebecca resents me because she's shallow and she thinks that Mike likes me more than her. I totally hate them. I have a snake named Mercury." She showed it to us. It was a little silver snake. 

"It's so cute!" squealed Erika. "We are going to have the best year!" 

The next morning, at breakfast, sandwiched in between Jenny and Kirsten, I got a letter from Tammy. 

"Oh damn, it's a Howler," Erika commented. 

"A what?" I stared at the envelope. 

"A Howler," Emily said. "I send them to guys sometimes. When you open the letter, it yells at you." 

"Well, I'm not having that," I said. I ripped the envelope in two. 

A thin wail came up from the pieces of the envelope. "…Dumbledore called me…can't believe…Slytherin…your father…I can't take it…not anymore. You…disowned…on your own." 

I threw the pieces of the envelope onto the floor. "Well, fuck that!" I stood up. "I don't care. I am going to show that bitch that I can do perfectly well on my own!" I yelled. I glared around the room. "And you had better not try to stop me!" I added. I stomped up to my room. 

The first class was Defense Against the Dark Arts. I just followed some kids until I found the classroom. 

Jenny, Emily, Erika, Alyssa, Kirsten, and I all sat in the back row. I sat behind none other than Draco Malfoy, whose owl I had rescued from certain destruction. 

I poked him in the back. "Hey," I whispered loudly. 

Draco turned around to look at me. "Oh. Um…Rachel, right?" 

I sat back. "Hey, you remember me!" 

"Yeah, and your lizard. Hey, see that kid sitting two desks in front of Jenny?" Draco pointed. 

I craned my neck to look. "The one with the black hair and glasses?" 

Draco nodded. "Yeah. That's Harry Potter." 

"Ah." I nodded slowly. "I see. Um…should I know this guy?" 

Draco smirked. "Jeez, yeah. Ask anyone who he is. God, he's such a self-righteous little prick." 

Erika leapt up. "RON!" she yelled. 

A red-haired kid sitting next to Harry slumped down in his seat. "Please, God, no…" he whimpered. 

Erika ran over and hugged him. "RON! OHMYGOD! I haven't seen you in so long!" She gave him a noogie. He blushed and tried to slide under his desk. 

The door slammed open. Erika scrambled back to her seat. 

I leaned over to her. "How do you know him?" I whispered. 

"He's my cousin," Erika explained. "My mom's staying with his family." 

And the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher stepped into the room. 


	5. Scholarships Part Five

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher strode into the room

Author's note: This is the pivotal bit in this story. It should be noted that this fanfiction is a continuing work with BookbatGoldenRose's "A new student at Hogwarts…or two". This story began as a simple character insertion, but eventually evolved into a continuation of an excellent story. BookbatGoldenRose is an excellent author, and I highly suggest you read her stories if you want to get the story behind this one. 

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher strode into the room. 

He had strawberry blonde hair, wispy and falling over his face, and gray-blue eyes. He was tall and thin, with a sad smile, like someone who knew sadness beyond boundaries, the ironic smile of a man who has lost so much that he has lost himself. 

It was my dad. 

He nodded to the class. "Good day. My name is Jacob Phoebus. I will be your teacher for the next year." He nervously looked around the room. "Ah…I suppose I should start by taking attendance?" 

I stared at my dad in shock as he recited the names of the kids in the class. When he got to my name, he didn't even flinch. 

Jenny passed me a note. I whisked it under my desk and unfolded it. It said, in Jenny's uncertain handwriting, 

Rachel, isn't that your dad? I think I seen him in a pix with your aunt. 

I caught Jenny's eye and gave her a nod. 

When we got out of class, I was in shock. Emily and Alyssa had to hold me up. 

Erika was already down the hall, chasing Ron; Kirsten was helping her. Erika and Kirsten had really taken to each other, for some reason. Erika's mindless cheer did a lot to assuage Kirsten's aura of gloom, I guess. 

"Look, what's the matter with you?" Emily asked me. "I mean, you look like you've seen a friggin' ghost or something. Besides the ones we already have," she added. 

I leaned against the stone wall, breathing heavily. "That was my _dad_ in there." 

Alyssa shrugged. "So what?" She fiddled with one of the rubber bands that held her ponytails. "Damn thing snapped." 

"You don't get it," I said. "My dad lives in Los Angeles! He's a Muggle. He's practicing _law_, for Moloch's sake. Why would he suddenly decide to be a teacher at the school I'm going to? It doesn't make any sense." 

"I bet he got fired," Emily said. 

I shook my head. "Nah." 

"Hey," Jenny said, "I know what happened." 

"Yeah?" Alyssa ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Okay," Jenny said, "that chick you Dad ran off with, Lannon, she a Dark witch, right?" 

I nodded. "Yeah. She's such a slut." 

Jenny nodded eagerly. "Yeah, yeah. So what she done, is she made you Dad take the job here, so she can tell him what to do." 

I stared at Jenny. "You are absolutely brilliant," I told her. "I bet that's what happened." 

Jenny grinned. "Yeah, I be a genius. Come on, we can't worry about it. Let's go annoy the Quidditch players." 

I slunk along the stone wall, holding my breath. Alyssa, Jenny, and Emily had all gone off to bug the Gryffindors. I had other things to do. 

I had annoyed some prefect into finding a map of the school for me, and had managed to pinpoint Dumbledore's office. I wanted to figure this out. There was no real reason why my dad, a successful lawyer in sunny California, would suddenly decide to go teach a magic class in England. 

I leaned against the door, listening closely. I could hear movement, but no voices. It sounded like there was only one person in there. 

I knocked. 

Dumbledore opened the door. "Ah, Miss Phoebus. How are you?" 

"Look," I said, "I came here for one reason, and I don't want any of your truth-and-light bull, okay? Why is my dad teaching the Defense Against the Dark Arts class?" 

Dumbledore sighed. "He applied for it." 

I stood my ground. "No. I mean, why did he apply for it? What's the story here?" 

Dumbledore looked pained. "Come into my office and I'll tell you." 

He told me. 

Of course I'm not going to tell you what it was. If you want to know, then check out the story that Bookbat Goldenrose has already put up. If she hasn't put up anything new yet, then you can either e-mail her or just be patient. It's worth the wait, believe me. 

In any case, Dad wasn't that much of a Muggle. He and Aunt Tammy were the most powerful wizarding pair on the planet until something happened (Dumbledore said he didn't even know what happened; they never told anyone) and Tammy moved to Detroit, Dad to California. 

So now that I was going to Hogwarts, he was scared. He was afraid that Voldemort would see me as a target, to get back at Tammy. 

I didn't see why. There is little love lost between me and my aunt, especially lately. 

Of course, he may have just been scared for her. But she was safe in the US. And I can take care of myself. 


End file.
